Albemarle Declares Itself the Unofficial Capital of Solana—Residents Mostly Confused, Mildly Intrigued

In a surprise twist no one saw coming (or asked for), Albemarle has declared itself the unofficial capital of Solana, the trendy cryptocurrency. Residents of the small town have reacted with a mix of confusion, curiosity, and just a hint of indifference.

“Solana? Is that a new kind of fertilizer?” wondered local farmer Earl Simmons. “If it makes my tomatoes grow, I’m all for it.”

Meanwhile, Tammy Jenkins, owner of Tammy’s Tanning & Smoothies, is just trying to keep up. “I thought Solana was a fancy coffee brand! But hey, if it brings in business, I’ll put up a sign.”

City officials are reportedly looking into changing Albemarle’s slogan to “Gateway to the Blockchain (Whatever That Means).” As of press time, no one has figured out how to actually use Solana, but the town council is optimistic that it will put Albemarle on the map, somewhere between “that place with the historic courthouse” and “where is Albemarle again?”