What’s Up with All the Traffic Cones on Main St? Are They Just For Decoration?

[someone86]

Okay, can someone please explain why Main Street looks like a traffic cone convention right now? I counted at least 30 cones between the diner and the hardware store, and I’m starting to think they’re not for construction—they’re for vibes. Is this some kind of modern art installation? Are we rebranding as the “Cone Capital of the South”?

I even saw Officer Dulin moving a couple of them around this morning, but he just gave me a mysterious nod when I asked what was up. Are we supposed to rearrange them ourselves, like some kind of interactive public art project? Or is this just the town’s new strategy to slow down teenagers who think they’re in the Fast & Furious?

I mean, I’m all for safety, but at this point, I half expect them to put a few traffic cones in front of the bakery, just to keep the pastries in line. Any theories, folks? Are the cones a cry for help or just Albemarle’s latest attempt to keep us guessing? 🤔

[Mister Michael]

I think the cones are kind of nice, actually. I think everybody downtown should remember to just slow down a bit. All the commotion goin on in the world but Albemarle is supposed to be a place where time slows a bit. It’s why I just love this town so darn much.

[Ricky Minkins]

I noticed the cones after leaving a matinee showing of minions 2. I put my dippin dots directly in the cup holder because I had to slam on my brakes.

Ate right through my pads and tore up my rotors. I personally think the city should pay for repairs on my vehicle.

[Author]

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